The Canine Connection to the White House

Woof, folks! Bob the Dog here. Yes, I can speak, read, and write human... what can I say? I'm just that good a boy. As the political correspondent for The Furrowed Brow, I sniff around the White House, Congress, and the National Zoo. Today, I'm sinking my teeth into a shocking presidential pattern I've uncovered: three commanders-in-chief who committed the ultimate political sin—they never welcomed a dog into the White House.

Let me introduce you to this dogless trio: James Polk, Andrew Johnson, and Donald Trump.

Polk, our 11th president, championed "Manifest Destiny" and territorial expansion. Religious groups backed him, believing Americans were God's chosen people. Historians rank him among our top presidents—though clearly, they didn't factor in his tragic lack of canine companionship.

Then there's Andrew Johnson, who took over after Lincoln's assassination. Never attended school (which might explain a few things) and became the first president to face impeachment, though the Senate acquitted him by a single vote. Historians universally pan him as one of our worst. Is it coincidence that he also rejected man's best friend? I think not.

Finally, we have Donald Trump, both our 45th and now 47th president. He switched from Democrat to Republican when his bank account ballooned. While history hasn't fully judged his current term, plenty of scholars have analyzed his first one. Princeton University Press even published "The Presidency of Donald J. Trump: A First Historical Assessment," where leading historians examine how Trump rode the waves of political division, conservative media relationships, and polarization.

But here's the real question nobody's asking: What do these three presidents have in common?

They're the ONLY commanders-in-chief who never had a dog in the White House! I'm howling with indignation!

Science proves dogs reduce stress, anxiety, and depression. We ease loneliness, encourage exercise, and improve overall health. With burnout rates skyrocketing, having a furry friend waiting at home literally makes humans healthier.

If there's anywhere on Earth that needs a dog's calming presence, it's the pressure cooker of the Oval Office. Trump desperately needs a rescue dog (the symbolism alone would be worth it). He should also mandate all his circle of sycophants adopt one immediately.

This screwed-up world needs more loving canines. Democracy depends on it. The evidence is clear: No Dogs, Questionable Presidencies.

Paw-sincerely, Bob the Dog Chief Political Correspondent, The Furrowed Brow